Memories
Hey gorgeous!! i've been having a hard week...can't get myself out of this slump... everything we do i either remember you doing it or think about how much you would have loved doing it. Or how much halex would have loved you being there. Your brother really misses you too. I am sure you have found her but your gwirlfriend liz is not up there with you. Give her a message and tell her to please take care of you for me until i get up there. Buddy everywhere i turn this is something that reminds me of you. this is so unfair that you are not here with me. alex is starting school in 2 weeks and you should have been starting preschool. so that day will be hard for a couple of reasons. we are approaching 6 months. i can't believe you have been gone almost 6 months almost a half of year...this doesn't get easier on the heart. it still feels so heavy and broken. guess it never will feel the same. i don't know what to do for your birthday... probally rather curl up in a corner all day and cry......don't think people will make that possible. i miss you so much and the way you lit up a room.. i am not gonna lie to you but i don't want to wait 50 + years to see you.... i wanna see your little face....that smile ... i wanna know you are okay... i wanna feel that blanket wrapped around me again. i wanna see mr bear. i just plain want to walk in the bedroom and see you sleeping there or playing with alex. i talk to you and i know you can hear me.. could you give me a sign that you are still in this house with us. it's been a while since i have gotten one. mommy misses you tremendously.....my heart aches all the time because you are no longer here with us. Hope you and liz are having fun.... i luv you buddy.... xoxoxoxoxox
hey buddy... hadn't written in a couple of days... had a hard night last night. Lindsay brought us some beautiful pictures of you and got me thinking about when they were taken. they were taken at the airport on the way home from our last family vacation... i never thought that would be the last vacation i would get to take you on...i remember you playing in the area with the toys and sitting on the floor at the airport... i think something was wrong with your shoes... you were such a good boy on the cruise and at busch gardens. You were so precious to watch petting that little turtle. we have the picture it is gorgeous. you always brought a smile to our faces just cause you could never tell what you were gonna do next just knew that when you started on the next trouble making tast you would succeed unless we were right on top of you. Never thought you mischivious ways would lead to you being away from us. You are an amazing little boy and i miss you with all my might. Just seems like there is nothing i can do to make this pain lessen or go away. i'm learing how to live with it.. Ethan and alex help. ethan is beginning to look more like you and i think he is gonna have your strong will. just ask daddy... by the way think you can help daddy on the times when mommy is working... oh honey i am being strong... as strong as i can and i'm doing it because i know you would want me to for your brothers and daddy. i could use a little help because i think the wave of pain is getting ready to come. i've seen lots of butterflies this year... what a great sign to send me. i love you buddy... i miss you so much. i need you here to have the life i always dreamed of.... now it will never be complete or 100% happy...... lol mommy
Did you send that little bird Sunday???? He came right up to us and then landed on Alex's bike. So we know that you were with us and that thunderstorm was cool.Miss you
When I read what your Mom & Dad wrote , and knowing how heartbroken they are (as well as Gammie & I are), it makes me cry. I think of you everyday and miss you terribly, it seems like such a long time ago that you were her. Gammie and I were so lucky to have had you as our Grandson and we will cherish that until we die, BUT,you should still be here !!!!
hey buddy.... had a really bad night last night. you know why... couldn't sleep much because of it. i feel so mad, hurt, betrayed. in turn it is making for a long day already and i have been out of bed for only an hour. i need help buddy because i don't know what to do or where to go from here. i want you back here and i want my life the way it was supposed to be. it has been almost 5 months of not having your precious smile to brighten my day and i need it today. i know that i'll get through today and the days to come but i'm not gonna lie i am having a day where i don't wanna. i miss you sooo much and i just don't know how to get through this. every time i think i am doing okay something knocks me on my ass and then sometimes i can get up easy and like today thisone is gonna take a lot to get up from and i don't have it in me right now. anyway buddy i also need guidance with your bday weekend... do you want a party or is it okay for us to go away for the weekend. i love you baby bear and miss you terribly..... send me something when you have a free minute.......
Share your Memories
